Mr. Roarke and Prisoner #6 have gone off to that Big Network in the Sky.

January 15, 2009

Wow the excitement of me posting again must have been too much for than man who was not as macho as Lloyd Bridges and the man who could not escape mutant bubbles.

So for Mr. McGoohan I will go down to Old World in Huntington Beach and yell, ” I am not a number. . .I am A FREE MAN!.

As for Mr. Montalban I am going to pour out some malt liquor on a height challenged person, who is wrapped up in some fine Corinthian leather.


Damn it I was so close.

July 24, 2008

Came up short in my “Worlds Deadliest Catch” Fantasy League yet AGAIN.

I came up a couple opilio crabs short of winning.

I know I should have picked Captain Andy when I had a chance, no I passed and then I pick up the Hilstrand kid who almost kills someone.

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it!

Oh I am not happy about this and now I will rant!

July 18, 2008

I do love me television, outside of sports I catch some of less beaten path shows. I rarely care about things like the Emmy’s, but yesterday I wanted to punch everyone on the nomination committee right in the neck.

Why Boski?


The Wire = 0 nominations. That is {content removed, but let’s say Tommy Lasorda blushed} wrong! Hey maybe it was a mistake, or maybe it was time for other shows and actors to get nominations since the The Wire has grabbed so many in the previous four years. Oh wait a second that can’t be since The Wire has never received ANY nominations in five years.

0 are you F$%#ing kidding me!

That is F’ing honked up, and I am talk of biblical proportion . This was one of the best TV series ever, EVER to grace TV. Five years of great TV and no nominations. Okay I am still catching up on season five, only because our old TIVO took a dirt nap. So if any of you tell me what happens I will be pissed, pissed to the point where I will not give you any positive marks for your comments. . . immediately. I will seriously wait 10, 15 seconds. Don’t try me.

Also Jimmy Kimmel got no nomination for JKL. Damn that was a bad week, first him and Sara breakup and now this. Look I know I am shill for Jimmy Kimmel but the show has been great. Look it should have got a nomination based on two things. “I am %$&ing Matt Damon” and the follow up, “I am %$#*ing Ben Afflec”. Yes crude, but hilarity.

Thankfully Bryan Cranston and Gabriel Bryne got nominations for Best Actors in a Drama, especially Cranston who is spectacular in Breaking Bad. If he had not gotten a nomination I would be starting a one man riot. As for ol Gabe he was fantastic as the shrink facing his own issues in “In Treatment”.

Alright I am done, I have not gotten this worked up over TV since Time Warner Cable took away the NFL Network or when Cousin Oliver showed up on the Brady Bunch. Now excuse me I have go the “What’s Happening” when the Dobbie Brothers play at the high school and rerun gets busted for bootleg is on.

Sorry I was away.

August 15, 2007

I blame my absence on being busy with a lot of things and not a state advised respite. Life complicated as it is has been a wee bit more complicated than it has been before, but I thought I could at least show up and fire off some random nonsense at you my audience. Yes I am talking to all three of you (but if we included the voices in my head we would have a nice crowd)

Campaign 08′ – Hi, I am voter and it is great that we are talking about the issues and having the candidate debating, but we are still more than a year away. This coverage is ridiculous, to the point the NHL regular season called and said it was this was a little much.

Karl Rove – Go F yourself fat man. May cinder block fall from the heaven onto your junk. Now shove off to Hell.

Speaking of Hell – Sad to see Hell’s Kitchen end and I am so going to miss Aaron cracking up. Glad that Rock won, but I think he may have been a ringer. I am too lazy to look it up, but he was working at a pretty swank establishment.

Gordo Part II – I could watch ol‘ Gordon all day. No surprise I have told you that before, but now people I am going to tell you this, and please take heed. Watch the U.S version of Kitchen Nightmare’s this fall, it will spectacular.

Aaron Eckert – I am going to spare your life. I finally saw Thank You For Smoking and you were great. So was everyone else, well except for Katie Holmes. I am sorry buy rebar is less stiff. So Mr. Eckert this means that crappy movie you and that Octogenarian loving Welsh woman made will be forgiven by me. But I can’t assure your safety from Anthony Bourdain (cooking’s Lou Reed, but with loads less heroin) who will come down there and extinguish a couple lung darts on your eye lids.

Speaking of Tony – I hope you are all watching his show, I am trying to read his books and from what my life has told me, I will not be disappointed.

Big Love – Chet errrrr Bill, what the hell are you doing? Pride gose before the Fall. When you are picked up by cross dressing loons who make the UEB look sane, then brother you got to let shit slide. Weaver gaming ain’t worth it, but I am glad Ellsworth was able to get out. Is it me or did Roman start uttering lines from Repo Man in his delusional state. Also Nicky, drop the dime on Alby and tells everyone that the prophet has another daughter (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Baseball – Well thankfully the White Sox have decided to stop playing with my heart. As they finally seem to understand the concept of winning. Guys would have been nice to see this maybe back in May.

Football – To say I ready for football season would be a gross understatement.

Madden – Yesterday my wife showed why she is the Better Half. Even though it lurks in my mind constantly, it was only yesterday I actually said something about getting the new Madden game when it came out. I usually get it around my birthday or Christmas. Little did I know my wife had been planning to get me the game. So yesterday evening, I was like many other degenerates who were skipping and giggling about like a school girl. All over a video game. Eric bad news, I stomped on your Bills 34 -0. Good news is that mean come September it will be the other way around. Now what was I saying about pride? What has my life become?

Bill Walsh – A football visionary who advanced this game leaps and bounds. Even though I hated the 49er’s I could not hate him. The man was a genius. So I would like to say a couple of words,

“Red Right Tight–Sprint Right Option”

I Klondike Bar for any of you who know what that means.

The Simpson’s Movie – I must be busy because I have not gone to see it yet. What’s wrong with me?

Last week here in L.A. a legend pass. Hal Fishman. A man who was one of the basis’ of Springfield’s Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman. I will miss you, your crotchety commentaries and your lazy eye. I will pour out some of my 40 for you dog.

Speaking of the Simpsons – I still have not seen the movie yet. What’s wrong with me?

Old Yeller – No not Homer, but when is Animal Control going to come in and just put Britney down. I mean this is now just cruel.

Blur vs. Oasis – Look it has been 17 year and I still have not chosen a side.

Merv Griffin – You will be missed by almost everyone, well except Deney Terrio. I will miss you Merv, but I am pissed about one thing. Why did sell the Beverly Hills Hilton and allow the great Trader Vic’s to be destroyed. The worst part was before it was taken from us, it was deKitsched and moved. You might as well shot Bambi, because that is how it felt to me and the wife. Merv you had some big bread, why did you sell? Ah forget it!

Dog days of summer are barking, but not like Ron Mexico’s boys are doing to the Feds. Ron you are done at least for this year. I think you may want to take that plea agreement and spend some time in the hole, because it will get ugly if this goes to trail. Because Mike this could run off the rails like some of your late season performances. And when you go to the big house you will need to tell your future husband that you have herpes. And the Herp Dog is a dog that bites back.

Now if Vick does go to trail and we find out there are other famous names involved, then we will have pandemonium.

R. Kelly – Whacked out R&B alleged pervert or Evil comedic genius? Because there is more Trapped In A Closet coming people. Right now I may be leaning toward genius.

Okay, that was fun. Well kids I am off and I will be back Friday, I have some business I need to attend to tomorrow.

Seriously folks. . .

June 12, 2007

just watch Hell’s Kitchen. This season has been the bestestest Season, and we have had only two seasons!

One word sums it up


This dude has been gold.

Hey I feel bad for the guy and I should be going to hell for laughing as hard as I do at the crying and passing out. But if it is wrong then I want no part of right. Look he bought his plane ticket, he knew what he was getting into. I say let him crash.

Damn you Chase!

June 11, 2007

Last night I wanted to “Phil Leotardo” Mr. Chase for the ending of the Sopranos.


Where is our Wild Bunch gun fight?

Or a Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid ending?

Hell, I could have handle Tony wakes up in his room. He hears the shower. He gets up and goes to the shower door. The shower door opens up and there is Patrick Duffy to find out the last seven years had been a dream.

I have come down a bit from last night when I was ready to storm my local Time Warner Office and burn it to the ground (which does not take much with those a-holes). But after a nights sleep, I kind of get what Mr. Chase was going with by making us draw our own conclusion about what will become of Tony. We are all trying to figure out what happens next: is he coming to get popped, busted by the Feds, or forced to go to a timeshare presentation (wait that may be too gruesome)? Look it worked, we are all here yelling about it. Except I was pushing for getting popped, only for choosing that Journey song. That song is the only thing I hated about the 2005 White Sox title, but you don’t need to hear that rant again.

I think we should have something more to end the series on. I personally think it should have ended with:

Tony takes care of Phil
Gets NY in line
Keeps Janice from Uncle June’s cash
Clips Carlo before he could be flipped
Avoids the indictments

In short, Tony gets peace in his Kingdom.

The final scene we have a long shot of the Sopranos backyard. The camera pans in. We see Tony raking leaves. All is calm and Tony hears ducks in the distance. Two Mallards land. The ducks root around on the grass looking for food. The ducks look happy. This warms Tony’s heart, since we know his fondness of animals. He watches them and feel a sense calm he hasn’t had in years. He looks at the house sees Carmella. He smiles and begins to walk back to the house and. . .


The ducks plug him, take the money from the Feeder and take over the Jersey operation!

They could have it this all for a song, but do they ask?

Well I am right flapjack!

June 7, 2007

I forgot two other great shows from HBO.

Oz – I would to thank this show, along with my family, and social norms for reminding me that prison kind of sucks and I really don’t need to find out about the scene.

Curb Your Enthusiasm – Oh Larry! Mr. David you are the most endearing assholes of our generation. Keep it up.

Carry on.