The Nation’s eight year prision sentance is almost over.

January 20, 2009

As we sit here on the eve of the inauguration of the 44th President I wonder.  I wonder what hate filled tirade have I left for W?

Well I don’t.

Oh my dislike or disdain is probably never going to go away, but I have no “TimeWarner Cable-esque tirade. I feel that by doing that and putting in effort when Mr. Bush didn’t take the time to be a president during the eight years, I would just be spinning my wheels.

So Mr. Bush I say,

“Meeeh”

Hey why not put in the same effort to this post as he did to running this country, now if it was ruin then he may actually get ratings in the 70’s.  So Mr. Bush the Patron Saint of Failing upwards I wish you good health, good ridence and may we never hear from you or any of family again, unless it is in reference to either a punch line, arrest warrant, or mauled by mimes. Okay that last one was a bit too much, I know I hate mimes but would I ever wish that upon them.

 I know you thinking Mr. Bush “Wow the years flew by” well that happens when you spend most of your 8 years on vacation. You did make me laugh at your last press confence when I heard you drone on about “getting credit for making the tough decisions”. Which is all well and good, but did you ever make a hard choice? I am thinking the decision were made for you by Grandpa Vader errr Mr. Cheney. Who I think I will be so glad to finally smoked out of his cave. 

Maybe I am just being too hard, I mean we all have so much to thank you for:

A costly, poor planned and misguided war

Giant national debt

Torture

Economic malfeasance

Corruption and graft that would make Boss Tweed blush 

 

Oh wait a second, I know I have mentioned it before but I do want to thank you Mr. Bush you have freed Ulysses S. Grant from the basement of presidential administrations. Also thank you for giving everyone so much material to saterize and mock with over a wide spectrum of mediums.

Tomorrow Obama gets sworn in and thank god.  I will throw in a thanks to God for helping this country get it’s head out and electing a president who will not be menace. I have a lot of hope for the years to come, I am a realist and realize that everything Obama wants to get done will not, and he may have to lower some of the goals. But even a lower goal will look like Everest compared to the sinkhole left by Bush.

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Another reminder that Bush and his gang are still in charge.

August 25, 2008

Border fence design blasted as causing flooding.

So how is that fence going?

Hey Mr. Chertoff what’s you gut telling you now? Hey why listen to people who may know about the effects of that kind of fences would have if there was a weather event. They don’t know what is best, but then this is probably all Obama’s fault anyway. That it was his high taxes causing all the mischef.

I hate to say, but I have let my guard down on Bush the past few months. I must have G.W. Fatigue, since I just thought all he and his cronies were doing was playing out the string. Then I see a story like this, and I remind myself, this administration can still do a ton of damage from now until January 20th, that is we have elections, whoops sorry I got a little too conspiratorial there.

Right now it makes me look to Denver and ask two things.

1. Will the Broncos defense improve enough to get back to the playoffs . . . sorry reflex. But I send out this plead that the convention goes smoothly. The G.O.P is licking it’s lips over this possible Obama/Clinton alley fight. If it gets ugly then the G.O.P. will play it up like 1968 lite. Look I understand there maybe some issues to smooth out, do it behind close doors and do what is going to be best for country. Also let us not have another Jimmy Carter/Ted Kennedy 1980 moment where it looked like Ted was only out there because he was forced at gun point.

2. That when the convention is over Obama get that momentum back? Not just a temporary bounce from the convention but real momentum and get back some ground in the battleground states. He needs to get back to hammering away at McCain and what will be a continuation of the wonderfulness that is G.W. We need to keep this country from going through another two, three maybe four years, depending on if McCain wants to go after Iran, Russia and probably China.

Okay enough of my nonsense, back to the grind.


Oh you think?

August 22, 2008

Bernanke: Financial crisis taking toll on economy

Well not much get past you Mr. Bernanke. What was the tip off? Oil at $140, financial institutions needing bailing out, a flood of foreclosures or was it the plague of locus.


EAT IT GONZO!

August 27, 2007

So long you torture approving, domestic spying, political firing, obstructionist, douche bottle.

Please let the door hit your dumb ass on the way out.

Glad to see it but it looks like our next AG will be Micheal “The Gut” Chertoff. And as we can see with his stellar work with Homeland Security, we can expect more great Bush B.S.


Sorry I was away.

August 15, 2007

I blame my absence on being busy with a lot of things and not a state advised respite. Life complicated as it is has been a wee bit more complicated than it has been before, but I thought I could at least show up and fire off some random nonsense at you my audience. Yes I am talking to all three of you (but if we included the voices in my head we would have a nice crowd)

Campaign 08′ – Hi, I am voter and it is great that we are talking about the issues and having the candidate debating, but we are still more than a year away. This coverage is ridiculous, to the point the NHL regular season called and said it was this was a little much.

Karl Rove – Go F yourself fat man. May cinder block fall from the heaven onto your junk. Now shove off to Hell.

Speaking of Hell – Sad to see Hell’s Kitchen end and I am so going to miss Aaron cracking up. Glad that Rock won, but I think he may have been a ringer. I am too lazy to look it up, but he was working at a pretty swank establishment.

Gordo Part II – I could watch ol‘ Gordon all day. No surprise I have told you that before, but now people I am going to tell you this, and please take heed. Watch the U.S version of Kitchen Nightmare’s this fall, it will spectacular.

Aaron Eckert – I am going to spare your life. I finally saw Thank You For Smoking and you were great. So was everyone else, well except for Katie Holmes. I am sorry buy rebar is less stiff. So Mr. Eckert this means that crappy movie you and that Octogenarian loving Welsh woman made will be forgiven by me. But I can’t assure your safety from Anthony Bourdain (cooking’s Lou Reed, but with loads less heroin) who will come down there and extinguish a couple lung darts on your eye lids.

Speaking of Tony – I hope you are all watching his show, I am trying to read his books and from what my life has told me, I will not be disappointed.

Big Love – Chet errrrr Bill, what the hell are you doing? Pride gose before the Fall. When you are picked up by cross dressing loons who make the UEB look sane, then brother you got to let shit slide. Weaver gaming ain’t worth it, but I am glad Ellsworth was able to get out. Is it me or did Roman start uttering lines from Repo Man in his delusional state. Also Nicky, drop the dime on Alby and tells everyone that the prophet has another daughter (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Baseball – Well thankfully the White Sox have decided to stop playing with my heart. As they finally seem to understand the concept of winning. Guys would have been nice to see this maybe back in May.

Football – To say I ready for football season would be a gross understatement.

Madden – Yesterday my wife showed why she is the Better Half. Even though it lurks in my mind constantly, it was only yesterday I actually said something about getting the new Madden game when it came out. I usually get it around my birthday or Christmas. Little did I know my wife had been planning to get me the game. So yesterday evening, I was like many other degenerates who were skipping and giggling about like a school girl. All over a video game. Eric bad news, I stomped on your Bills 34 -0. Good news is that mean come September it will be the other way around. Now what was I saying about pride? What has my life become?

Bill Walsh – A football visionary who advanced this game leaps and bounds. Even though I hated the 49er’s I could not hate him. The man was a genius. So I would like to say a couple of words,

“Red Right Tight–Sprint Right Option”

I Klondike Bar for any of you who know what that means.

The Simpson’s Movie – I must be busy because I have not gone to see it yet. What’s wrong with me?

Last week here in L.A. a legend pass. Hal Fishman. A man who was one of the basis’ of Springfield’s Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman. I will miss you, your crotchety commentaries and your lazy eye. I will pour out some of my 40 for you dog.

Speaking of the Simpsons – I still have not seen the movie yet. What’s wrong with me?

Old Yeller – No not Homer, but when is Animal Control going to come in and just put Britney down. I mean this is now just cruel.

Blur vs. Oasis – Look it has been 17 year and I still have not chosen a side.

Merv Griffin – You will be missed by almost everyone, well except Deney Terrio. I will miss you Merv, but I am pissed about one thing. Why did sell the Beverly Hills Hilton and allow the great Trader Vic’s to be destroyed. The worst part was before it was taken from us, it was deKitsched and moved. You might as well shot Bambi, because that is how it felt to me and the wife. Merv you had some big bread, why did you sell? Ah forget it!

Dog days of summer are barking, but not like Ron Mexico’s boys are doing to the Feds. Ron you are done at least for this year. I think you may want to take that plea agreement and spend some time in the hole, because it will get ugly if this goes to trail. Because Mike this could run off the rails like some of your late season performances. And when you go to the big house you will need to tell your future husband that you have herpes. And the Herp Dog is a dog that bites back.

Now if Vick does go to trail and we find out there are other famous names involved, then we will have pandemonium.

R. Kelly – Whacked out R&B alleged pervert or Evil comedic genius? Because there is more Trapped In A Closet coming people. Right now I may be leaning toward genius.

Okay, that was fun. Well kids I am off and I will be back Friday, I have some business I need to attend to tomorrow.


Yesterday someone gave me the finger.

July 13, 2007

That someone was Bush. In fact he gave us all the finger again yesterday at his press conference.

That America was a big FU to everyone, well accept that 20% that still are delusionaly behind this jackass piloting this country.

I wish he would just come out and say, “hey, I going to do whatever the hell I want since I do not care about any of you or the law of the land”. I would be pissed but I would actually respect him for being honest for once.

All I can do is go on another profanity laced tirade, probably because I am suffering from war fatigue and I should get behind the surge since the insurgency is in it’s last throws, so I will let someone with more skill go over the B.S. that was just pouring out of that soup cooler of his. (Thanks Crooks and Liars, please go over and enjoy the site, but read at your own risk since you will want punch or smash things afterwards).

I am sorry Mr. Bush has gone from an mind numbingly inept to down right dangerous. Nothing is more dangerous than someone who has nothing to lose and has no care for the consequences.

Post Script – Since it looks like things are going poorly it looks like the White House and Neocons are pulling out the same old tactics again. Either by using scare tactics or release bad news on Friday to make us take focus off the White Houses nonsense.

This time it looks like those guys and that organization that attacked us back in 2001 are back to pre-9/11 levels. How could this be since we removed Saddam and we so close finding Osama? I have no clue why. It could not be because i al-Qaeda has set up a great Club Med resort along the Pakistan/Afghanistan boarder. Well I should just blame the Clinton’s, Pro-Choice supporters and the gays. They have all held us back. The whole item about Rummy calling off an attack in 2004 along the Pakistan boarder must be false. Hilary must be behind it since al-Qaeda where partners in the Whitewater affair.

So we find out about the new and improved al-Qaeda, just right after hearing they could be planning an attack this summer. An attack that was brought to our attention thanks to the bile duct of a bile Bush cronie. Hey FU Chertoff and your gut you hunch driven clown (Thanks C & L and Keith Olbermann)!

Don’t even get me started on health care. I need to go see Sicko, I am curious to see what Micheal has to say.

Okay, the anger is out of my system for now.

The Iraqi government has not meet many of its goals and

Right now what he is doing to this country is tanamount to this. It the money after and he is not going to respect us, or call us back. He has also taken money our of our wallets, made a sandwich (which he did not clean up after) and then pissed all over the sink.


There is no bottom.

July 2, 2007

It just keeps getting worse.

Bush commutes Libby prison sentence!

Kids please leave the room.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUKIN’ FUCKTARD FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS!

It will take me many a lifetime to dream up the a broomstick that I need to deal with shenanigans! Ah fuck I am too mad to even try to come up with anything witty to put to this. WHAT THE FUCK?

So Little Scooter get his reward for his loyalty. It is already being spun that this is Bush coming to a way of trying appease both side. But you know that is horseshit. Don’t give me this well it is his first offense bullshit. So I can fucking drop a dime on a CIA agent if its my first offense. I do that I am at Gitmo getting the Mitt Romey’s Dog treatment as I wait to meet old Sparky in Texas. Oh but he not getting scot free Boski. He is still a felony and he will need to pay that fine. Like fucking hell he is paying that $250,000, Haliburton will cover that if they even pay it. Oh sure Scooter Libby is going to be broken hearted that he can’t get a gun or vote. He and Paris Hilton can have an fucking pity party!

Fuck, fuck to the 1,000 power. This is so fucking bullshit I can’t even fathom it. Part of me wants to be resigned to it since I should be used to it since Bush, the Darth Lord and the Bush cronies have lied, cheated and stole and lead this country down a shitty road. Hell it could get worse, Bush could set everything up in flames by attacking Iran, destroy the economy and piss off the Russians who still have nukes. Good times, Good Fucking Times!

Great, fucking great. What a fantastic way to get ready for Independence day. The next time some Neocon, or a Dittoheads gives you BS about about how great Bush is, or that Dems are in bed with Osama, or tells you that you are going to enter a “no spin zone”, just punch. Keep punching them. Punch them in their fucking filthy pieholes, till those chicklets hit the floor. I hate violence and it won’t settle anything, but I am steamed.

Please forgive me for this fucking potty mouth fucking tirade but before I go

“Hey Bush, Cheney, Fox News, Rush and the rest of you. Go fuck yourself. Hey go ram a lighted Roman Candle up your ass you fucking asshats!”

Again sorry for the salty language.