I know I my appearance does not show it, but I love being at the gym. I know I have talked about it before, but I am one of those sick bastards that gets up at ten to five and gets their slappy ass out of bed. I get in there about 5:20 to 5:30 and then leave around 8:00. I love that time, since it is my time. I can throw on the headphones and just do my own thing. It is something that helps me through the day. I feel 1000% better days that I worked out then days I just roll into work. It is also something helps me with focus and also it provides me structure that I desperately need.
Now I love my gym, but there are still a couple of things that annoy me, well more people at the gym that annoy me and I would like to address them here. So please excuse the following rantings:
Mr. Hog the Universal Machine and Cable Guy- Yeah I am talking to you and your stupid fancy track suit. You turn the damn thing into a goddamn base camp. Seriously, all I see you do is work on your triceps and abs, oh and looking at yourself in the mirror. You are not climbing Everrest you dumb bastard. Also buddy, there is a limit of 20 seconds of starring at yourself in the mirror after doing a set. After 20, then it is vanity. How do I know? I can see you starring at yourself as I am staring at myself. Also you do not need to take both rope cables to achieve your triceps awesomeness? I know I should just work in on your machine just to piss you off, but I hate confrontations and I am just not up for anything that is going to take more than three words.
Ms. Personal Trainer Who Feels She Needs to Comment on My Squinting, My Lifting, or What I Am Reading – Look leave me alone. I know you mean well, but just let me get my workout in. I do not need you brand of chipperness.
Now for any and all of you who take the free weights and spread them to the four corners of the gym. Just F’ing stop it! If you have to take a weight, that’s cool, but the basketball court is not where it goes, neither does it belong at the treadmill or on the track. They belong on the F’ing rack. They are free weights not pigeons. They are not going to return to their perches. Also don’t be afraid to put them back in some kind of order. Now I can be guilty of this as well so I will slap my own wrist
There, I am not above the rules either.
Mr. Well The Steam Room Is Just Skin Scaldingly Hot Enough – Look it is a steam room not a freaking crock pot jackass.
Lastly to the two smokers who I see nearly everyday puffing on the lung darts before you come in to play hoops. Look, if you want to smoke, more power to you, but don’t you think sparking up the old coffin nails before a workout is how they say, counter productive?
Okay you have heard enough of my petty little rants from my petty little life. Now I have to pack things up head home and go pack up another house.