Look I am here to assure all of you that this blog has not been traded for a couple of GeoCities Websites, A Flickr account and a Blog to be named later.
Oh and this also goes out to the agents showing the home and any inspectors inspecting the home. Here is a list of a my grievances:
Stop with coming to the house and having a picnic while you are there, and if you do then you better damn well pick up after yourself.
Stop leaving the toilet seats up.
If you are going to move the outdoor furniture, please put it back they way you found it.
Put trash in the damn trash can!
If you are inspecting the home, it would be great if you didn’t forget to turn the outside water back on. The whole dead plant and brown grass thing went out ages ago.
Hey feel free to check out the blinds, sure go ahead leave them open. I would really love to let everyone know that no one lives there.
Which leads me to
Hey if you open a door, how about closing it. And here is another radical idea. Lock the F’ing doors when you leave. Nothing like coming over and finding the blinds up, so you can see that the back sliding glass doors are wide open. Hey nothing helps a house resale value like a burglary, or squatters, or even animals coming in and tearing things up. (Look folks they may be cute but a raccoon will shank you if it gets a chance and will just go rock star and treat your home like it was a hotel room.) Now we have come to the house on three occasions and found doors to the outside either opened or unlocked. This along with the numerous times the blinds were left open does not really warm my heart.
Lastly, stop f’ing low balling us! I know the market sucks, but I know you a-holes are F’ing with me and my wife. Make a serious offer and don’t come with the shady financing. Also if you do make an offer and get us excited, please don’t turn around and realize that it is not feasible to add on to a 4 bedroom 3 bath house!
As you can see I am little miffed about this. To the point where I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle just so I can go to the homes of these offenders and just do burnout on their floors and ghost ride the bike into any major pieces of furniture or glass doors.
Okay I feel much better now
Well just had a nice little tumbler roll through. Well that will get the ol’ heart going.
I hope you go down for the count and if you go, then take your stupid Bridge to Nowhere with you.
Tom’s of Maine Deodorant.
I had read it that it was good and since it is natural it can’t hurt. Sadly it has not been really working for me and my sweaty self as I plug away in my sauna err my cube. But then it may be like climbing Everest in flip flops. Now I don’t reek but I am not ready to run around my office with my arms up.
I was late on the cellphone thing, but I finally got a cell phone back in 2002. What clinched it was coming back from Baja. While waiting to cross back I saw the pan handlers had cell phones. I knew it was time. So I got a Virgin Mobile phone. Now I am on my second phone, which I got at Christmas of 2005. It is looking a little rough. If you looked at it you would probably ask if I got gum with it. Especially now since, it looks like I have played hockey with it. So now I have phone envy. I keep seeing all the cool phones people have, and all the things they can do. I now have been clamoring for one. So I keep looking at phones and plans and plotting how I will rule the world, then it hits me.
I don’t call or text people.