Hello, it’s me again.

January 29, 2007

Well kids it has been awhile since I last baked up something new for you here at the Old Blog O’ Fun. Well thankfully, for you very few but proud readers, or un-thankfully for any English teacher out there, I am back. Well I am going to try to be back. Wow work has been busy. Before I begin I would like to say to all those English teachers out there I am going to reach out to the community. I am going to try to give something back. I am in works to produce an AfterSchool Special. It is a heart-wrenching tale about a boy who abused English grammar and who had a spell check dependency problem. The special is titled, “The Boy Who Could Not Get Their From Hear. The Boski Story”.

So I am going to just dump the Mental Superfund Site that is my head and give you some of my random and probably radioactive thoughts, in no particular order.

– I hope everyone reviewed my championship picks and made a ton of money better on the Colts and Bears.

– I wonder how Thurston taking it that Lovie is at the Super Bowl.

– I only have 13 days to prepare for my Pro Bowl Party and I still have so much to do.

– What will I do when football is over? I may actually wander outside.

– So with Payton Manning making it to Super Bowl XLI, I wonder what the over under on ads featuring him will be. I think the early line is MMCXXIV. I am taking the over.

– Again I am suffering at the hands of Time Warner Halliburton. I have found out that along with a Special they have been playing going over the greatest Super Bowl Teams, they have also been playing the rebroadcasts of past Super Bowls. So I missed the chance to watch and TIVO the glory that was Super Bowl XXXII. When the Broncos beat the 11-½ point favorite Packers. The game would have been a blowout if Terrell Davis had not missed the 2nd Quarter and if Eugene Robinson had decide that he would part take in finding a independent contractor in the fornication industry. Just like he did the next year, right after accepting an award from a Christian Athletic Award the night before the Super Bowl. So again damn you TWH and damn me for not getting a dish.

– So it appears that people are upset with Kevin Federline doing a Super Bowl commercial. In the ad it shows him flipping burgers. Think about it, even I agree with the ad, I can see that those who flip burgers would not want to be associated with that.

– Work has been so hectic as I mentioned before and I do like what I do and the people I work with, but I have noticed one problem. I can’t watch medical shows the same anymore. I get angry every time the physicians screw up. Because that means more work some poor factious character who slaving away in Quality/Risk Management. And no, they don’t show the real cool people like me. The only time they show anyone they make the Quality/Risk person out to be really A-hole.

– Even though I love my Sirius, I have found radio gold on crappy terrestrial radio. The Petros and Money Show. Yes I know they look goofy, but it is my new crack addiction. Now they have to be good because if you know me two of my sport hates are USC and the Chicago Cubs. Petros was a former team captain for the Trojan (but the worst Trojan team in school history) and Money who is a huge Cubs fans, but I had listen to him as replaced Jimmy Kimmel as the sports guy on KROQ. But it is 3 hours of sports, musical and pop culture references. If you add some circus music then you have what my goes on in my head.

– I realized the other problem when football season ends; I will have to come to grips with the mess that is the L.A. Kings. I was looking at the sports page. It listed the Campbell Conference (I can kick it Old School NHL) standings. The Kings were so far down, if you looked at is quickly you would think that they were 4th or 5th in the Prince of Wales Conference.

– A few words on David Beckham. Thanks David the money being spent on you better be worth it, since I may have to suffer though years of bad hockey for it (See above) Yes A.E.G., (Owners of the Kings) I know that you have a huge stake in the MLS and you are trying to grow the sport. But you couldn’t have given the Kings some of that scratch. Any way the problem with US Soccer is two fold. One it will never reach football or baseballs status. Two, we do not need aging mid fielders who are great with direct kicks and putting a ball on a guys foot from 50 yards, we need a freaking striker that put the fear of god into opponents come World Cup time. Work on that.

– Man it has been cold. Yes cold even for Southern California. This winter has been even more chillier than usual. How do I know, look, when you go to the store and see that your orange juice is now $8, it’s cold.

– Along with the cold it has been very dry. Dry to the point that Steven Wright would feel uncomfortable. Dry to the point, I may be killed or seriously injured by static electricity. My car is the biggest culprit. Getting shocked when opening or closing the door, and even when I am kissing the Better Half as I drop her off at work. When I go to my car in the morning I should know that I am in for a long day of shocks when I see my car covered in socks.

– Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles – kicks ass.

– Hello 1983 calling, hello. The Police begin rehearsals. Now this had better not be a joke, because I have to find away to see them. First I hear that the Happy Mondays and these guys are back together and playing Coachella. What is it reunion season, what is next Morrissey and Johnny Marr going to actually get into a room?

Russia considers investigating Uranium Theft. Yeah, you may want to look into that, but hey what danger could arise from Uranium?

– Poor Barbaro.

– Will someone also please put an end to these awful spoof movies? Did we really need “Epic Movie”?

– Can they just end American Idol? I know people love seeing the nonsense of the delusional ones who think they can sing at the beginning, but this needs to end for the love of god.

– Got my tickets and my hotel room for Tuscon to go catch some Spring Training. I have to see who is left since Trader Kenny went a little nuts this off-season.

– Stay classy Miami’s Cuban Exiles – Exiles Plan Huge Party When Castro Dies. Look the dude is an asshole, I am not going to argue that, but when that day comes what will be done for the people of Cuba, are things going to revert back to the days of Batistia and if my memory is correct that is what caused the mess to begin with.

– Is it me, and I could be wrong, but I have notices the flags around here are still at half-mast. I thought the period of mourning for Ford had already passed. My goodness it seems the flags are at half-mast longer than he was president.

– I know earlier in my rambling I mentioned TIVO the bestest invention ever. But I finally found a huge flaw in it. It is a flaw that I hope is fixed. The problem I have is this. Right now you can give a program either a Thumbs Up or a Thumbs Down. But the three thumbs down just does not fit my true feelings, when I want to label any Fox News programs. Seriously, Bill O’Reilly deserves more than three thumbs. Like Dirty Larry he gets the finger!

– Speaking of Fox News, it appears they will be showing The Path to 9/11 with the more ridiculous errr controversial segments of the movie put back in. Call me suspicious but why do I feel somehow the Fair and Balanced people at Fox will be CGI’ing in Hilary Clinton into the movie to make it look like she called off the hit on Bin Laden, or showing Barack Obama giving Al-Qaida weapons and fake visas, and maybe a scene of Nancy Pelosi and her “San Francisco values” distracting Airport Security allowing the terrorist to slip. Since as Fox tells us they all hated America.

– Speaking of Hilary, I just don’t know if I could back her. If she wins the ticket then that is what we have, but I am just not a huge supporter of her. Not that she or any woman could not be president. Hell, Hillary is probably better qualified than most to take the position. Now I know she regrets voting for the war, but it took he a while to get to her position now. It has the hint of following popular opinion than true conviction. She would have to do a lot to make me change my opinion. Also all the Republicans and the Fox News’ of the world have been waiting for the day Hillary would announce. They have been prepping for this day ever since Bill won the 1992 election. They have been waiting to do the mother of all swift boats. Maybe we are at a point where that would not work anymore, but I am afraid that it would take everyone away from the issues and again on things that don’t matter and as we have seen there are too many out there who will vote against their best interest just because of some sound bite. Also we do not need to hear from Alleged toe-sucking Woman of the Night partaking Dick Morris.

– Oh hey Rush, I think they may finally have your size in robes from the Klan. Seriously Rush what is with that Obama Half-Rican Bullshit. You are such turd soufflé.

– Now since I have wadded into the abysmal world of GW. Well George it seems that you are going to continue to F things up by sending more troops into Iraq. Even though the people and many in Congress feel this is another bad idea. Oh no you are the Decider and you have decided to f’ it up more. Well Mr. Bush, I think the idea is splendid one, but there are two small problems. First is a surge is a shade late, but hey what is a couple of years. Also that surge # is about right 20,000, but only if you multiplied by ten asshole! And where are those troops coming from. Oh that’s right we can take them from Afghanistan, since everything is hunky dory there. This mess is beyond a military solution and we need a political solution. Hell right now we are probably training an Army and police force that will turn around and turn on us, leading to a probable complete melt down of the Middle East. Instead of a leader we a goof ball who doing a great impression of “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” And George instead of brooms with buckets of water flooding the basement we have militias rampaging a country. Mr. President you have seen Fantasia haven’t you? No I am not talking about the person who won American Idol. Oh that is right you tried to watch it but the pink elephants had you having flash backs to the Skull and Bone days at Yale, or what ever Community College/ Special Ed classes they told you was Yale. When you and your frat buddy got drunk and paddled each other in some sick and twist Masonic ritual. You are a freaking peach sir!

– Hey as for your Library at SMU which will probably make Ronald Reagan’s look like the Library of Congress. Hearing that they would be building the Bush library reminded me of a gag that was on the old “Not Necessarily the News” where Reagan’s advised were standing around a index card holder and reading all of Reagan’s “papers”. I see that for W., but it would just be his copy of Superfudge which he still has not finished and most of his signing statements on a VeiwMaster. The thing that truly sucks about it is not a presidential library, but that the university also has to accept a conservative think tank along with it. Excuse me President Douchebag this is a library not a bill where you can a stupid rider to it.

– Speaking of that, how about the GOP sinking minimum wage. Classy as always.

– As for the President’s baby sitter Dick Cheney. Hey Mr. Cheney fuck you! I say that in the most complementary of way, since that is probably how you used it on Pat Lahey. How could looking into a camera and say that we have achieved a great deal in Iraq. Outside of Haliburton bottom line, what have we done well there? But I should not be surprised since you have no soul and you are a vortex of evil. I know one of things I have heard on why impeachment is not being bandied about is if W is impeached the nation will be left with Cheney as President. So really no change other than George’s mouth would stop moving. But I think that it should not matter since Cheney should be bounced out of the White House for treason. He worked so hard to cover up the bogus intelligence and his work to blunt any investigations into it. Also for dropping a dime on a CIA op. For all of this I do hope you have a cell with Karl Rove (who also had to be in on the Plame issue). The two of you could pick out a nice China pattern when you finally have your commitment ceremony, not that there is anything wrong with that. Out of all of this we still do not know what they hell your secret energy committee meeting was all about. They way things are going, along with helping your Buddy Ken Lay, you probably laid out plans to attack Iraq and make a killing on the oil. And just to go all Oliver Stone on it, but did Ken Lay have a heart attack just before he was going away to protect your secret. Hmmmmmm.

– Even though I don’t watch 24 (I plan to change that) I think we really need Jack Bauer to fix this.

Okay that is a lot from a very small brain. I have to get back to the fun and glamour.

Advertisements

Championship Weekend

January 20, 2007

Pro Football is ramping up for it’s biggest event. I know you are all thinking about it, I know I am. I can just see it now.

Yes, 2007 Pro Bowl. Awesome, I know. Man, nothing beats seeing the best football players walk through a glorified touch football game. But before we get to that we have to settle this NFL Playoffs and get to that paltry Super Bowl thingy.

So lets look at what we have have for Championship Weekend

Let me put on my ill fitting handicapping cap, yes the one that cuts off blood to my head so I make awful picks.

New Orleans at Chicago (-2) O/U 43 America’s newest Sweethearts (Saints) vs. Deadspin’s and Kissing Suzy Kolber’s favorite son, Rex the Sex Cannon Grossman. Him and Kyle Orton may have contributed to at least 29% of the entries on Deadspin, and 40% on KSK, since 2005. To me this one is all about the weather. Temperature is not the issue, it will be if there is either rain, snow, sheet or sweat from the Superfans. With a dry track the Saints should be able to move the ball even if it below zero. I am going to go with the Saints only because I think they have enough firepower to counter the Bears D which has not been sterling that last few months.

Saints 28 Bears 24

New England at Indianapolis (-3) 47.5 Sadly I have fallen into the camp of I hate that both of these teams are here and that we have to have a week of near ProBowl Hype…er Super Bowl Hype for this game. But I will be a bigger blogger and rise above that. This is and should be a great game, no matter who wins. Even if that means dealing with the Pats continuing dynasty, or the 8 million more Payton Manning TV spots that will be done, if they win this game, and then add another 8 million more on top of that as well. Both of these teams have made it here overcoming some tough obstacles.

The Colts beat an undeserving Chiefs team who should have been at home watching the Broncos beat the Colts, and then pull off a Steeleresque Postseason run to win Super Bowl 41, and make a little blogger from Costa Meas very happy. Again I think I have veered off course. But the Colts did beat the Chiefs and the Ravens in a very un-Colt like way. Great D and spotty O. As for the Pats, sadly Tom Brady is better than all of us and we should just give in. I think God looks down and gets pissed at Brady for being as good as he has been. This does not mean I will stop rooting against Brady, I just acknowledge that by doing that I will be on the short side almost every time, except when he face the Broncos, who have bested him 3 of the last 4 times they have met and that includes Brady’s only playoff loss. There again the Bronco fan in me is getting carried away, and I will remind myself that Brady has three rings and we have not been in the Super Bowl since 1999. So suck it Boski!

So what does this mean for Sunday. Well it means that we will see an epic battle where through no fault of his own Manning will crowned King of “Can’t Win the Big One”. Because I think the Pats will grind it out at the very end and beat the Colts with their rookie kicker after a Vineteri miss. This is the Colts’ shot, and if they lose this one they will be haunted by this for years.

Pats 37 Colts 35

Other quick NFL notes:

Ron Mexico (cough, cough, cough) what were you (cough, cough) thinking man? You can’t bring (cough, cough) water bottles on a plane. Especially one that got the (cough, cough) Chronic.

Dolphins hire Kirk Cameron as they new head coach. Oh sorry about that. I meant Cam Cameron, but if this ends up like his stint at Indiana, then even Alan Thicke won’t be able to save them.

Football All-American will play for the Cubs. I have a feeling that he will get hit more as Cubs pitcher than as a football player.

If the Steelers select Russ Grimm as their coach, will it be a fairy tale story.

I have to go, the Better Half and I are having dinner with some friends. So I will be back Monday with more nonsense.

Have a good weekend.


Boy I feel stupid.

January 19, 2007

I thought that Walter Mondale was dead, but apparently he is not. Which is good because that means he can take a swipe at Darth Cheney while with the living,

Former VP Mondale criticize Cheney.

Unlike Gerald Ford, who waited till he cut the mortal coil to take a shot at the bastards that is the Administration.


This is not going to go well.

January 18, 2007

At 72, Hylton plans comeback at Daytona 500

Hey I am glad this a guy who wants to pursue a dream and he is not letting his age stop him, but I think Mr. Hylton is going to face some problems:

The beating he gets for driving at 40 mph for the whole race

Double that beat down when he drives the whole race with his blinker on

Hip(s) popping out in one of the turns if he does hit triple digits

No one in the pit crew is going to touch that catheter

Other racing teams will sabotage his racing by making false reports in the pit area about when Matlock is coming on

Will infuriate racing sponsors when pull over and falls asleep after two laps of a night race, since he is up way too late

Will cause a multiple vehicle crash when dentures fly out

Will cause furor when he takes his grandkids along in the car

Another reason why I am not a NASCAR fan. First its not a sport, two it wastes gas and three now it is being used to endanger the elderly.


A question for the audience.

January 16, 2007

If someone one was to go into the adult video industry and they where to base their operations in Afghanistan, would the name of the operation be “The Mujaobscene“?

Just asking.


It seems to be that one of the toughest jobs in America is…

January 16, 2007

Being the # 1 seed in the AFC for the playoffs. Even if your name is not Schottenheimer it still a tough gig. Since 1992 the AFC#1 seed has lost 11 times before the Super Bowl.

2006 Chargers
2005 Colts
2004 Steelers
2001 Steelers
2000 Titans
1999 Jaguars
1997 Chiefs
1996 Broncos
1995 Chiefs
1994 Steelers
1993 Miami

Just something to chew on and amaze your friends. Well I hope to give more fruitful commentary soon.

Please sit back and relax and enjoy, “Vegemite the Musical”


I got nothing for you.

January 13, 2007

Wow another busy week has ended and I am crispy right now. I have been training someone on my old job. A position I barley under myself. All the while trying to keep that said job from bursting into flames. Which has kept me from doing the work for the position I just got put into. Added bonus this week, everyone has been sick, so I have had to do most of it without a net. Which means there will be lots of crying and finger pointing in the near future.

To show you how done I am this week, I can’t even give you a half hearted attempt to make some really unfunny obscure and arcane reference, not even something about the Treaty of Westphalia.

Mmmmmmm, the birth of the Nation-State arrrrrrrruuuuuuuwwwwwgggggghhhhhhh. Oh where was I, oh I remember now.

Have a good weekend everyone.