Panic at the Best Buy.

It looks like someone went all HALO on someones ass. Seriously, it is just a video game system. It is not going to change your life. It might, but most likely for the worst. Just kidding, but come on people it is video game system.

It makes me think, how did we get this far as species?

Mr. Darwin, another point against you sir.

Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love my video games. I have had my share: Atari 2600, Sega, Game Boy, PS and PS2. I have never felt the compulsion to get it the first day, or to hunt the most dangerous game while doing it.

Look the only time video games ever should get violent is when you have a win all sewn up in Tecmo Bowl and somehow you give up 90 yard TD with no time left, or if you playing NES wrestling and someones little brother finds a way to cheat and you can’t win. That is when it is alright for you can get violent. There is actually a leagl defense to justify the action. It is called “Broken Paddle” Defense. It is right up their with the “Chewbacca Defense”.

Now here is how it works. Let’s say I killed Conrad Bain after losing a close game of Sonic the Hedgehog. Here is how that legal tactic would work.

District Attorney: “Your honor the state would like to charge Mr. Boski for the 4th Degree Murder of beloved TV Dad Conrad Bain Along with charges that this man has wantonly abused grammar. Mr. Boski savagely attacked Mr. Bain with Sega game system and beat him to his a pulp. Then proceeded to write about it on his Blog o’ Fun. Which our forensic specialist will show is not fun, and most likely not even a real blog.

Judge: “So Council how will Mr. Boski plead to the charge of killing Conrad Bain?”

Hired legal gun from Jacoby and Myers: ” We would plead Not Guilty your Honor”

Judge: “On what grounds”

Defense: “Broken Paddle your Honor, Mr. Bain, knowingly allow Mr. Boski to use the broken paddle”

District Attorney: “Ah shit!”

Judge: ” Case Dismissed”

District Attorney: “Can we at least charge Mr. Boski with crimes against English and grammar?”

Defense: “Objection!”

Judge: “On what grounds?”

Defense: “Nothing, I just have always wanted to say that, but your honor, can Defense at least ask for a continuance, so I can cash this check?”

Judge: “Denied, Mr. Boski we will charge you with the other crimes.”

Mr. Boski: ” So I can guess where this is going to lead to.”

Judge: “Yep, Mr. Boski, you are getting the chair. I have tired to read some of the entries and I would be irresponsible to allow you to continue writing. Take him away.”

Mr. Boski:”Avenge me bloggers, Avenge Me!”

So in closing, the PS3 is not something worth getting shot for, now the Happy Days board game, I might take some shrapnel. But it is never cool to get violent over a video game. I have never done that, well okay, I once drew a knife on someone while playing Frogger, but I don’t want to talk about it.

So that is one to grow on.


6 Responses to Panic at the Best Buy.

  1. B. Freret says:

    I acknowledge being old fashioned, but honestly – wouldn’t shooting someone for their console suck most of the fun out of playing games on it? That twinge of guilt in the pit of your stomach, every time you loaded up Kobayashi Maru or whateverthehell Japanese PS exclusive game? It isn’t like playstation games have that much fun to spare, anyway…

    Oh, and nice one, sir!

  2. B. Freret says:

    BTW, Conrad Bain would kick your ass.

  3. silliyak says:

    Think of the royalties for the book,”If I killed Conrad Baines, this is how I did it” (Insert spelling and grammer errors of your choice)

    perhaps you should hire this guy as a defense lawyer on the spelling and grammer charges.

  4. lovisa says:

    I won’t shoot you over the Happy Days game, but I will call shotgun on Count Malachi.

  5. Totsie says:

    Whooooaa, what the hell is my real name doing up there? Where did the Tot go I wonder?

  6. Boski93 says:

    B.Freret – Thinking about it, don’t you think someone out there would still enjoy the game even after “busting a cap in da ass” as the kids say. Everytime they fired up the old PS3 with their friends. They would point up at the mantle where the head of their prey would be mounted and say,” Did I ever tell you the story on how I bagged that one?”

    Who am I kidding,Conrad Bain would use me to mop the floor. That dude is stright gangsta. Look he killed Dana Plato, he made Todd Bridges go out try to blow people up. He also used to play Wack-A-Mole with Gary Coleman, on the set. Why do you think he is still so short. Conrad would come in drunk on Thunderbird with a one of those old carnival mallets and chase Gary around. And please do not even get me started on what he did to the woman who played Edna Garrett.

    Silly – You are in for at least 30% of the cut.

    Tot – Done and done.

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