Mr. Boski you have a call from Tippy Heddron.

Hello kids, sorry I have been away from the keyboard.

The other day I was leaving the gym and heading toward the car, then bang. I am getting jumped by a small black bird. I think he may have chirped “I got the flu hand me all your money and bits of string”. Man I am getting punked by small birds, but that is not the first time I have had a run in with the avian population.

It was back in my days as a Jungle Cruise skipper. The boat was filled up and we roared toward the jungle.

“Welcome aboard my name is Boski and I will be your captain, tour guide and your cruise director for the next 8 weeks. Right now we are entering the mouth of the Irriwady River”

At this point I could here a faint noise that was quickly getting louder.

Ducks.

As the boat turned into the jungle. I looked a head and saw a group of 3 ducks flying low through the jungle. I did not think too much of it, until I noticed they were flying right at the boat, and they were not looking to veer. So right there at the Happy Place on Earth. We had an old fashioned game of chicken. Since my boat was on a track I had no options.

Then came the epic clash of man and duck. The duck in the middle and I had a meeting. It hit me square in the chest. (How about those cat like reflexes Boski?) In my molasses moving effort to avoid the duck I let out a screech of cartoon proportions and dropped to the floor. At which point I heard everyone in the boat laughing.

What the hell is going on?

I look up at the see the duck just standing up by the throttle. He just sitting there taking it in. Here I am thinking I have a dead duck and I will have some explaining to do. Nope, that Mallard was just there as if nothing happened. He shook his head and then was off. Apparently the only thing damage was my dignity. I got up and looked at the guests who were floating between laughter and surprise. So I stopped the boat,

“Folks I have no answer for what just happened.”

To this day, I know me and the duck will meet again. It may be in Paris, it may be in Tangeirs, or just El Paso, but we will meet.

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