Week 2 and I still did not get my carnage.

Monday saw another installment of the continuing decline of civilization “Wobbling and Flumbling on Ice with C-List Celebs”. And again I did not see the spills I had hoped for. The only “star” hitting the ice was Todd Bridges, who I felt bad for. The guy did his best and came along way in a short time, but that ended Todd’s time on the show. Well now he can pick up those manager shifts at Denny’s in Culver City.

Notes from the show:

Mr. Jenner, Joan Rivers called and she is asking you to tone down on the face lifts. What is the deal with that Bruce, what did you need corrective surgery after doing “Can’t Stop the Music”?

“Funny Man” “David Coulier” again put up a dull performance. I think one judge put it as, “you did nothing out there”. I was just waiting for the shot of “Dave’s” “agent” looking into the camera and saying. “Now you can see why I can even book him as a party clown.”

Another interesting thing about “Dave” and Nancy’s performance. They used a stool as a prop which was an apt metaphor for them. Well she’s wooden and he’s just stool.

The Audience – I think that the producers of the show have them boo when the judges give low scores. Look you slacked jaw yokels. Sir John Nicks has forgotten more about skating than any of you will ever know. Look the man is training the Sasha Cohen. So suck it if he give Debbie Gibson a bad score because she f’ed up. Seriously people.

The Host – Mr. Hamilton, I am glad you survived cancer and you had a great career, but can you stop yelling in octaves that piss off every animal with in a 3 block radius of my home. Love the energy, but I am not in love with the energy.

Jillian Barbarie – Hmmm a Fox show and Jillian’s a Fox personality. And let’s see, oh Jillian you competitivley skated before, so I don’t think that would be unfair or anything. But how would Fox allow this, since their entertainment and news departments are pillars of integrity? (I know there are tribes in the Amazon yet to be discovered that knew that joke was coming.) Of all people, they picked her. A woman so annoying that Mother Teresa would take a swing at her. Saying she is shrill would be an offence to shrill. But this week, Jillian ran into problems. She suffered a groin pull. Maybe all those years working in those truck stop bathrooms is catching up. Hey I am here all week.

Coming up Bowling with Animal Stars

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