I have realized that I am totally not feeling it this Holiday season…errrr I mean Christmas Season. I do not need to bring the War on Christmas to my doorstep. But then by saying I am not feeling it, which means I hate the Baby Jesus and I want to destroy America.
Even out here where the season only changes from cool to warm. I could always get myself in the holiday sprit. Not this year, I am just not into it. Maybe on the 24th it will hit me that Boxing Day is near, and then I will make like the Grinch and embrace the Holiday.
Next to St. Harold’s Day and Feast of McLean Stevenson, I love Boxing Day. The holiday where we celebrate Baby Jebus beating Leon Spinks, in a unanimous decision (he won on all three wise mens cards) at Caesars to win the Heavyweight title. And also where he performed the miracle of taking 4 spins and 2 Whammies parlaying it into $10,000, an Apple IIe and a trip to Acapulco on Press My Luck. Shortly afterward he had to flee to Idaho, from Don King and the Nevada Boxing Commission (something wrong with a baby fighting a grown man). Then Baby Jebus with the help of Mr. T and Edna Garrett lead the Cardinals out of St. Louis into the desert where they built a workshop. A workshop to make New Coke and vacuums for all the good children and penguins. The Baby Jebus then got a 4-picture deal from Sony and left Mr. T and Ms. Garrett to run the workshop alone. Then Mr. T gave birth to Yahoo Serious, who then took over for his parents after he leg wrestled Jabba the Hutt to a draw at the third Farm Aid.
So to celebrate I put out a plate of uncooked ham, lanolin and cans of Schlitz
out for him to eat and hopefully I will find cans of New Coke and a vacuum under the old Cactus Tree.
I hope no one is offended by this, just having a larf. I am cool with Jesus and his old man. I think they would appreciate some levity.
I would have had this done sooner, but it was too cold today. Only 70.
Good night and please yodel safely.