Irvine CA – Faux News reports that Mr. Boski is now asking Aruban officials to assist with the investigation of his missing watch.
“Well they have been practicing haven’t they?” Mr. Boski asked during his own news conference held out in the parking lot of the 24 Hour Fitness in Irvine. “But if they are no help I will go get Geraldo. I know then we will get shit found. Look at what he did for Al Capone. He found a lot of Al Capone’s nothing. Now that says something, doesn’t it?”
Mr. Boski then rambled on, “Look I have got my beat up old Swatch and we will get through. I just hope the ruffian or ruffians who absconded my watch, even though it was through my own negligence, never have the right time on that watch.”
At this point Mr. Boski then lit some sparklers and yelled to the crowd which consisted of himself, Cory Hart, a landscaper, Big Foot and his bride Nia Pebbles, three Falco impersonations, and members of the press (Faux News, Cat Fancy for Seniors, Guns & Gardens, and Highlights). Mr. Boski then discussed his future plans.
“I am working on a Broadway Musical about The War Of Jenkins Ear. The music will be scored by Chumbawamba and it will be performed by chimps. This will raise Broadway to new levels of excellence according to USDA standards. My watch is gone, but I am not going to pay a lot for this muffler”.
Then Mr. Boski ran to his vehicle and drove off leaving everyone stunned, except for Mr. Hart who expressed anger.
“That dude was my f’ing ride. Now I am going to be late for my shift at IHOP.”