Nevermind the Bollocks here is ABBA!

Well it is Tuesday afternoon and winding down another exciting day. I have worked on scheduling interviews for the Finance Department, review incoming resumes, update the chemical inventory, split the atom and traded Shaquille O’Neal for three players. Look, I am in last I need players for next year. It is apart of my 72 year rebuilding project.

I concerned about the Broncos off-season moves. I just do not have a good feeling about the draft. So many holes and so few draft picks. I am not liking free-agency so far. We need someone to take Pryce for a 1 in ’06. We need to get more from the Jets on Putzier. Gerald Warren, I hope you are not a younger version of Darryl Gardner. We got Ian Gold back, which is nice, if we go to a 3-4. I wish we had some cap room I would like to have Smoot, but that is wishful thinking. But that is the great thing about the NFL. Because of parity I can make myself believe that they have a shot until about week 6 or 7. I hope I am wrong, like most things I pontificate on.

Baseball is almost here, but I am not excited. I think after the NCAA tourney is over I can get motivated, but wait NFL Europe will be starting and then their the NFL draft… No I still do love baseball, but I have not had they love I had for it since the early 90’s.

Things I would love to say in a meeting or a professional setting:

  1. “Yes El Guapo”
  2. “I am not going to pay a lot for this muffler”
  3. “I am Michael Eisner and I am not wearing any pants” (Long story)
  4. “San Dimas Football Rules!”
  5. “Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor”
  6. “Ham, it’s the Cadillac of deli meats”
  7. “These are not the droids you are looking for”
  8. “Hey they bought their tickets I say let them crash”
  9. “Wow, I shouldn’t have drunk all that cough syrup this morning”
  10. “Ask me about Amway”

I have only been able to successfully use #8 in an HR meeting.

Hey a special shout out to America’s Beloved Jay Leno. Jay, go make sweet, sweet love to a light socket. Yes, I am talking to you, Mr. “Oh I don’t want a gag order on me telling god-awful Michael Jackson jokes”. I say this not because I am defending the Goofy Gloved one, it that I hate you Jay. God, what a tool. You are a soul-less, humorless jackass. There is not a colostomy bag big enough for you and the waste products you spew out of pie hole. But I do have to thank you so stealing errr hiring Stutter John. It has made listening to Howard a great deal more enjoyable. By the way, that was a loving tribute to Johnny Carson. Especially from the man who forced him out, made Letterman move (to a network I did not start watching again until it had football and CSI), and is a complete and total bastard. I just wish that the day comes that Jimmy Kimmel can beat you with a shovel, till you are red pasty mess.

Viva Jimmy Kimmel.

Good night Moline.

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One Response to Nevermind the Bollocks here is ABBA!

  1. Eric says:

    So much, so much. I hear you on Leno – talentless hack. I pray for a shovel beating or death by Amish Rake fighting.

    As for the slogans – you got to give it to them SL JAckson style:

    These ain’t the m*therf*cking droids your looking for.

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